Dear Mommy and bapa…

I don’t remember my first day at school but i have heard the scary stories about it .. the puffy eyes , the running nose ,the constant crying and sobbing of little kids .. BUT , as a matter of strange fact i didn’t cry on my first day at school. i was a brave child , i was holding my father’s hand ,walking along with him with my new school bag , new school dress ,new  shoes … to a new place which looked to me very different than my dear house in bbsr .. but when my dad dropped me inside the classroom and my hands were suddenly left dangling in air with only my water bottle , i looked up and saw my dad was walking away from me.. then suddenly all the cries which were invisible to me till now started making strange noises around me .. and with a slow sob like sound, i started running towards bapa  … my father turned around and made slow lip movements mouthing the words that soon he will be back within 10 mins  with chocolate for me . i stood there and waited for him .. but he didn’t returned after 15 mins also , slowly i lost count of time and was involved in playing with other children . after the school was over , when the bell made its final ding dong we were asked to make a line and walk till school gates . i finally saw my bapa , waiting for me with chocolate in his hand.i ran towards him and hugged him tightly .father had a smile on his face which was one of a relieved type. kind of saying “ thank god , her first day at school was okay” ( all these i have heard from my father and mother )

Time was  10 minutes to 1am . Most of the guest had left. my head was paining as if someone is hammering it and i was completely drained after all the marriage rituals . i just wanted to sleep and to not wake up till 12 next morning at least.then the priest announced to perform the final ceremonies of my bidai(farewell) after which i would have to leave for my in law’s place.suddenly i realized , the time has finally come for me to leave my father’s home forever.. i looked at my mommy and bapa . they looked old , tired and very sad.i didn’t cried then too , i was too much moved by all the emotions of the day , my mind was kind of paralyzed. i  hugged my parents and walked towards the car waiting for us to take me to our new home. before stepping inside the car , i made one final turn to look at my parents. this time too my parents had a smile on their face which said “ Thank god everything went well,  she will be happy at her new home” .

Time is 9 mins to 12 am .am looking at the return tickets of my parents to India. it was only 2 months and 10 days since they first stepped into the USA  and they were already leaving for India.mommy , bapa’s visit to usa has finally come to end.these 2 months were the most memorable days for me. my father’s biggest dream was to visit Niagara falls  since he was in school and mine biggest hope was to spend unlimited time with them , show them everything here , make them happy in every possible way. some of the dreams came true. we visited niagara falls, las vegas, grand canyon, napa,halfmoon bay, stanford school, lake Tahoe, san francisco, golden gate and many small places around. i believed i had spent enough quality time with them ,till the last seconds when i realized  it can never be enough. be it a last round of hugs at night before sleeping or the evening tea after a tiring trip nothing can be ever enough with your parents.every morning since the last two months , i would wake up with the oriya news channels broadcasting their breaking news  in the background and the sweet smell of brewing tea from the kitchen. can it be enough ever ?

Dear mommy and bapa ,Unlike the other two stages of my life when i left you for choosing a different life , a different direction this time i will say something . i will not cry ( i will try my best),i will try to be a stronger person than i have been , i will  not be very harsh on myself ( as have always been my biggest critic as said by td), i will do the  things that touch my heart, i will call you daily  and lastly i would say “everything in this life  will change for better or worse , but the one thing that can never change is the love between us. i love you a lot mommy and  bapa  and i will always be your brave kiddo who attended the first day at school without shedding a single tear :)”