Debunking the Myth of “US” time in a relationship

Often i have heard from people to have more of “us”  time in a marriage in order to make it a success..to spend lots of quality time ,to do stuffs together , to be for each other in ups and downs of life .. but is it sufficient to sustain a marriage? on 25th of this month i’m  gonna complete my 1 yr in this marriage marathon , though am not wise or experienced enough to conclude on this sensitive matter .. but i have realized some interesting points to keep a marriage or for that matter any kind of super intense relationship in its safe haven..

Firstly ..don’t you think we take this “ us “ time too seriously ? i mean if the person  gonna be with u day in day out for the rest of his /her life doesn’t  he/she  deserves some quality time with himself/herself( unless it is  a long-distance marriage or relationship)

i think to be able to enjoy and let your partner enjoy the small things of life separately is very important , so when time comes , you have loads to talk about and laugh or may be argue ..but there is communication flow  and everyone knows how the  “missing “ factor really spices up the relationship   😉  , at least i feel like  falling in love with my husband again and again after some duration of separation !!

To incorporate  a hobby ..

hobby is very important mostly after marriage it becomes even  more essential . apart from camping together or biking in the early morning there must be some quite individual read time or sports time (anything ). it builds a sense of purpose of being there on this earth .. one must have some kind of hobby ..people often forget or neglect hobby after marriage  (giving  big lame excuses for not pursuing hobby due to marriage)

cooking ..

cooking together is the best thing a couple can do  .. me and td don’t talk much while cooking , it’s just the random sound from the the cooker or of the knife  cutting the vegetables .. mostly we play some songs on the youtube and one would be the master chef and the other the sidekick and we manage to make the best dishes of our lifetimes ..each and every time .!.

when we see the final product made out of the raw , fresh ingredients .,  creating something out of nothing , together !! gives me a sense of delicious pleasure and a glow of strength/trust  in our togetherness .

 

Hanging out side by side without saying a single word ..

many a times we would be side by side laying on our bed  .. half an hour goes by without us realising we haven’t said as much as a word .. still it feels  complete .. as if we have talked about every element of our soul..it is  kind of a silent meditation where though our bodies are different but our soul are in their conversation ..

Doing the most mundane /routine thing together ..

yes ., doing the most mundane thing can be very interesting if done together , routine is bore but without routine even partying and vacationing feels worthless.. routine is needed in life to bring the necessary happiness in the most happening thing and when that routine includes your partner , how easy the life becomes..isnt it?

Most importantly ..Not looking at each other each time as our only source of happiness..

yes ,i have often seen people complain of their partners not taking time out for taking them to movies or shopping or dinners.. but why can’t it be the other way round? and again how does marriage enslaves a person as your happiness maker ? i mean only you must be responsible for your own happiness” if not always , then definitely in daily today lives in various situations we can try to  be happy by a small change in our own attitude .. and not to be too rigid on our partners to make us happy always!

 

Lastly .. all said .. sometimes even with all the right things said and done ..things don’t go well and may fall in a dark pitfall.. but the most important thing in the whole process is “ how much we have loved, how much we have lived through this ..” .. well.. i have started out in  my journey .. lets see , how loving or tiring it can be ..  🙂

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About namrataTanmay

home is where my Heart is .. :)

7 comments

  1. Saswata

    I know you from the childhood…u r my chuddy buddy…i had seen you playing badminton, panting pots , dancing in events bt i hv nvr thought of ur writing skill n I have no words to appreciate you.jst proud of you!! You are simply awesome 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. RohanK

    Pardon me for saying this , I would not say it’s a brilliant write up, because its not something one can write or play it with words it’s a feeling one have to travel through….. You two make a brilliant combo… All the best… Last but not least my two cents: “Happiness cannot be searched everywhere, it’s a feeling which can be found everywhere…”

    Liked by 1 person

    • Rightly said .. its a feeling which i wanted to share and i can do this not becoz i have these things in my life .. but i wanted our lives to be in this way , we try to be in a happy space , not always we are successful though ,trust me.. but its a process.. and m still learning ways of it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Anonymous

    Awsome write up namrata. There r elements with which every couple can relate themselves. There’s a long journey ahead and every moment has irs own colour. All the best for more beautiful years ahead.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. good points but it is good to spend some quality time together in every relationship

    Like

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