The Interview

“ So tell me about yourself “

Every time i have heard that question (and trust me ,i have heard it too many  times, before i landed my current job), i am like what am gonna tell now!? i may have rehearsed the answer to it so many times , but still i get confused.. as soon as i hear this question am thrown back to some bottomless pithole , from which i have to choose the right rope which are hanging from every direction and i have to get hold of the right one or else boom!! i have to stay there for the next time when i would be asked the same dreadful question..

moreover i have to ans this question with all misleading facts like am very interested in this job profile(which am mostly  never) , am very motivated ( dedicated you can tell , but motivated , ahh never !!, but am very motivated for the money that comes from it  :p ) in simple terms i have to tell “ am a complete workaholic , please take me in yr team , so that i can loose all my personal affairs, hobbies and in general lose my Life  in return for the peanuts you are going to present me”and all these i have to convey with a broad smile on my face ..  🙂

Many by now would have guessed it’s the process of interview am talking about ..

I am a java developer , even writing that seems funny to me .. like in last 5 years i may have worked really in some core java project  hardly for 3 years and guess rest 2 years i may be working like  on excel sheet or rather be having tea in the cafeteria :p  .oh man .. what’s the deal with this Java i don’t know.. whenever the interviewer hears that am a java developer , they are like “ aa gaya bakra” ( here comes the scapegoat) , i will be asked everything i have never worked on  and as a matter of fact most of the developers may not have too.. working on something and knowing all the real shit about it , there is a huge difference between the two.. In USA i stay in Bay area , the great silicon valley , like all the geeks and experts from everywhere in the world  stay here and  i feel like a small cat, meowing in middle of a large group of gnarling cats .ok so i dont know y i used the analogy of a cat .. but i think you got the point..

when the interviewer asks this “ how much you gonna rate yourself in java” … internally am laughing out loud ..i sometimes flow out of my body and i am like able to watch myself from distance .. even my ghost self( which has flown out) is laughing out loud and waiting to see what i’m gonna tell next .. it’s a full comic episode that goes on ..after acting of thinking for sometime i give myself a humble 6/7 out of 10 , now more than that seems too ambitious (even sometimes a 7 too sounds too much by the look of the interviewer :P) .. then there this look on the interviewer .. “ahha a 7 /10 , am gonna grill you now and by the end of it you are gonna accept u r just a 4 may be 5 /10” ..

Sometimes it has so happened too , that i have lost interest in the process of interview in between only and i just don’t feel like answering anything .. then again my ghost self comes into picture . it’s smiling from above and saying .”tumse na ho payega beta”  :p

i feel like screaming to the interviewer “ you wanna know about me ?! ok so u expect me to tell u ,what i have done in last 5 years in just over 5 mins ? and on the basis of that u gonna give me this  job ?  , that’s not all , you expect me to ans the questions which only an 8-10 years experienced can answer .. and again this is not me , but i have to do this as i need your peanuts and in the process be independant ..”  

This is for all those people who think landing a job in USA  was easy for me 🙂  , trust me its as hard as getting selected in a lottery for H1B , both depends on yr luck and somedays you are lucky and somedays u r not ..so keep praying and keep working  😉 

P.S Its from my personal experience, an average employee. not meant to offend any interviewer (or employee) out there .. Cheers!