Am pretty happy with what “we” have .. by WE ,i mean me and my husband dearest.. It still feels like we are in our honeymoon phase and am still rosy eyed by looking at my husband..
But But sometimes i just wonder .. how it would feel to be hunting for a perfect guy in the very well established arranged marriage market in India ?
If for you also Marriage has followed Love unlike the other way , you may be having some kind of thoughts .. May not be always but in some moments .. when you would be listening to your unmarried friends stories or rather woes of the various colorful stories of their Search for the perfect Guy !! .. Don’t you wonder to yourself “ What would have been my marriageable value !! “ I know it sounds weird.. But it’s just My curious ramblings .. and sadly I never had a single case of “ Meeting the parents/boy/relatives “ Case ( that normally happens in an arranged marriage) to boast about …
Well ..I have often asked the same question to my husband too .. like how he would have gone in finding his girl of dreams .. knowing him i know .. It would have been little difficult for him as well as he is a multi dimensional person with so little he shows to the outside world and strangely he is too much innocent to read people without their gray shades .. People are either Black or white for him unlike me who always believes that “ Humans are Grey !!” .. and My husband’s simple answer to my exquisite question would be “ Trust the parents , They would have done the best “ which i doubt considering no one can be better than me for him .. heheheh ..
Well well .. back to the wild ramblings …
It’s not like i didn’t had a profile in a matrimonial site.. But i swear to god it was not created By me .. My holy and very lovely parents had created one on behalf of me and on its accounts i had received a sudden bursts of friendship requests on facebook .. !! :O
No offence to those very much eligible guys .. in my defense i was very much in love with my then boyfriend (and now husband) to give it much thought …
I have heard it’s a tough process.. Horoscopes must match , families must match .. girl and boy should like each other and in many other cases .. things may break mid way due to inconsequential and unreasonable reasons ..then you have also to go on numerous dates till you don’t meet “The ONE” and though often it is a fun thing but when you have marriage at the back of your head and Big questions lurking in dark corners like ” would you change your Name after marriage ” or ” What is your salary ” .. It’s not much fun .. and not to add the endless mental torture of relatives and friends who you feel are far more concerned for your marriage then you yourself are .. and who are just waiting to find a fault in you for not deciding quick on whom you wanna marry of the many alliances they would have brought from far & near .. after all Its “Their ” duty ..
What ever is the process but i agree its tumultuous and with growing trend of love marriages in India and of course the bollywood movies adding the masala to the trend .. it’s hard not to wish one for yourself .. to be like Raj and simran of DDLJ .. but if we go by facts still 75 percent of marriages are arranged in India and we still have a lower rate of divorces then some of the other cultures .. so there may be something we are doing right .. In my opinion it’s not love vs arranged marriage but more of a “what” and “how” our parents have lived and what we have seen in front of us since childhood .. So most of the credits for a successful arranged marriage still goes to our beloved parents who have instilled in us a kind of commitment which is evident in any common household of India ..
At the end of it i believe .. there shouldn’t be any shame or gratefulness or any thing Awkward in getting to the resort of an arranged marriage for settling down .. now when the trends in the process have changed so much and it is so much better now with digital media giving us the freedom to get to know the person better .. it is a very flexible idea . Finding the love of your life is the thing we should remember .. not the process and so what if our parents or friends have helped us a little in that .. isn’t it?
I would end this piece of my thought with a simple saying ..(Though i can go on and On regarding this topic 😉 )
Love is what we all need in our lives .. and blessed are those and a bit lazy too whose parents take the pain in arranging it for them ..at the end of it all we must be happy with our partners .. Be it Love or An Arranged Love 😉
All the best to all those who have already taken the plunge and “best of Luck ” to all those who are getting ready or are still in search of their “The One ” , just remember .. “You are the best ” and you will soon meet the one for whom you are destined ” Cheers !!!!
namrataTanmay
yehzindegi 